By Dr. Malini Saba

I have spent over thirty years navigating worlds that weren’t always ready for me, from the dust of gold mines to the high-pressure boardrooms of fintech and trade. But even after all these years, I still see something in the "quiet" moments of a room that stops me in my tracks.

Have you ever noticed what happens when a woman walks into a crowded event? More often than not, she heads straight for the men to say hello. When a man enters, he usually does the same, greeting his male peers first, unless there is a queen or prime minister. The women in the room? They are often acknowledged last, or sometimes, not at all.

I have watched this as a businesswoman, but I’ve also analysed it as a psychologist. It isn't just a lack of manners; it’s a reflex. We’ve been conditioned to scan a room for "power" the second we walk in. And let’s be honest: because men still hold the vast majority of leadership and powerful roles worldwide, our eyes are trained to find them first.

The "Purse Strings" Problem

This isn't just happening in big corporate offices. I see it even in the places meant to serve us. It is a systemic issue that runs deep.

Even in organisations created for women in most countries, positions of power are frequently held by men. For example, in a women's hospital, the trustee controlling things and taking decisions is often a man. The same holds for social organisations where women are encouraged to become self-sufficient; even there, the person verifying applications and allocating funds is usually a man.

Even in political parties or at government offices, the person analysing things and taking decisions is a man.

When the "purse strings" are held by men, people instinctively gravitate toward them for validation. We’ve been socialized to think that’s where the "real" decisions happen. But as long as we keep looking past the women in the room to find a man to validate us, that cycle will never break.

Creating the Multiplier Effect

I wasn’t born with a silver spoon. I am a self-made immigrant who started with a dream of being a doctor and ended up an "accidental entrepreneur". My parents taught me resilience and empathy, and that’s exactly what we need to apply to how we treat one another.

We have the power to create a multiplier effect of change right now, and it starts with a simple greeting.

• On a Societal Level: When we walk into a room and make it a point to acknowledge our sisters first, regardless of how much money they have or what their title is, we are staging a quiet revolution. We are saying that a woman’s presence is valuable in its own right.
• On a Systemic Level: By supporting women-led businesses and helping them scale, we are moving those "purse strings" into female hands. When women are the ones allocating the funds and making the calls, the entire power dynamic of the room shifts.

A True Sense of Sisterhood

Real change won’t come from a policy memo; it comes from us. It comes from a "true sense of sisterhood" where we give our own gender priority. It’s about walking into a room and seeing the woman in the corner before you look for the man at the head of the table.

In my home, between the writing, the cooking, and taking care of my daughter and my pets, I try to lead with my heart. I want that same heart to be present in our professional lives, too.

Now, I want to hear from you. When was the last time you felt invisible in a room? Or better yet, when was the last time you went out of your way to make another woman feel seen? Let’s talk about it in the comments. Let’s start being the change we want to see.